Stairically Filthy.

Dear , Trump-chachaa

You do know we adore you, our loyalties are with you. After all, when you attended our do in Houston, did we not ask our NRI brothers to vote for you? And when you came here and spoke so eloquently about  Swami Vivekamunnund and Veerat kooli , did we not cheer you loudly?

There was much hugging and hand-pumping, remember? It was all good . Then you had to spoil it by saying India's air is Filthy.

I think you come to this hasty conclusion based on our ranking, 179 out of 180, according to some dubious air quality study. That kind of short-sighted evaluation by western “scholars” completely ignore our pre-eminent culture and its inherent wisdom.

We know that our air is thick with unbreathable particulate matter.

What your tiny Western eyes perceive as air pollution is our 12,000-year-old tradition of making our air suitable for the smooth take off, comfortable flight and Glitch-free landings of our Pushpaka vimanams.

Anyone who has read sage Vijayananda Mallyodri,  knows thick air is imperative for sky travel.

Another recent lie I came across is that we are 94th out of 107 Countries on the Global Hunger index

How Uninformed you Westerners are, I tell you.

While all of you binge eat Big macs and Cheesecakes with impunity and become obese and get all manner of health issues.

We indians Fast.

I can assure you that the ranking in question was done on ekadashi day when most Indians skip their meals in order to develop ancient six-pack like our gods.

So kindly please check your facts and stop calling us hungry.

Also apparently we are ranked 120th  out of 122 countries , on the the Water Quality Index.

What a laugh.

We have Ganga Maiyya with us , fools.

One drop of it, is always we need to purify ourselves.

Plus, you tell me one thing which country produces more rain songs than us?

And here you are calling us dirty water people. Come on grow up guys.

Then there is a 144th rank among 156 countries on the UN World Happiness Index .

What an utter lie.

You people don't know that we Indians are so furiously happy that we need to voluntary depress ourselves on regular basis.

Actually we just pretend to be unhappy so as not to attract Nazar. Or Drishti.

Plus, we have also trained ourselves to look cross to prevent neighbours, friends and random uncles from asking us for hand loans.

So stop comparing and critising us with these indexes we really don't give a  damn about it.

We don't believe in these global indexes we just believe in “Giving the Index finger” in lot of things.